Social creatures
If you’re a regular reader of Substack newsletters, you’ll notice that many of them display the number of their subscribers. Ever wonder why?
Why do books love to tell you they are a New York Times Bestseller? Why do so many sitcoms include laugh tracks when, if there’s one thing Americans can agree on, it’s that we hate laugh tracks? Why did McDonald’s advertise for decades how many customers it had cumulatively served?
Why? Because these all leverage the power of social proof.
Social proof is one of the six elements of influence psychologist Robert B. Cialdini explains in his classic eponymous book.1 It refers to the tendency of humans to rely on cues from their peers to make decisions and take mental shortcuts. When a prehistoric ancestor roaming the savannah noticed others in his tribe ate a certain berry and got sick, for example, he learned to avoid it.
Cialdini explains that humans are more swayed by social proof under two conditions. The first is ambiguous or information-scarce situations. If you’ve ever come across an empty subway car at rush hour, you can infer from the previous passengers to avoid it as well, without taking a close look yourself. Secondly, we are more impressionable when we share similar qualities with those we’re observing. A conversation with a close coworker will likely influence my voting decision in an election more so than an interaction with a clipboard-wielding stranger on the street.
Let’s briefly cover the other the five elements that enable people or organization to exert influence.
Interlude
Hi there. It’s been a while! In my much-long-than-expected hiatus, I’ve been busy becoming a new dad and launching a credit card. I’m excited to return to writing with more regularity in the new year.
The elements of influence
Cialdini cites six such factors in total: social proof; reciprocity; commitment and consistency; liking; authority; and scarcity. Having covered social proof, let’s jump into reciprocity.
Reciprocity
When humans receive something from another—anything, even of trifling value—it creates an unspoken obligation to reciprocate in some way. This cultural norm is deeply embedded into our social interactions, and it can be exploited in myriad contexts.
For example, my wife and I were thrilled to see free samples return to Whole Foods while shopping this weekend. Sampling some white wine pub cheese, I thought it was pretty good and considered buying it for a moment before realizing reciprocity was at play. Did I set out to buy white wine pub cheese that day? No. But after trying some for free, I felt a small tug to “repay” the favor by purchasing a container. Cialdini points to the example of the Hare Krishna, who would hand out flowers to passersby and ask for a donation subsequently. Though no quid pro quo was explicit, the norm of reciprocity induced many a reluctant pedestrian to donate.
Similarly, I interact with many vendors in my role at work. It is common for them to treat me to dinner, invite me to a happy hour, send a Christmas gift—one thoughtful vendor even sent me a package for the recent birth of my daughter. These acts of generosity have a purpose: to subtly encourage me to reciprocate when it’s time to negotiate our contract or buy more services from them. I appreciate the gestures but do not let them cloud my judgment.
In negotiations, reciprocity can be used to great effect by experts. One party can make a concession to encourage their counterpart to make a bigger concession elsewhere. Additionally, one party can use the “rejection then retreat” or “door in the face” approach: make a significant ask, and then cue their counterpart’s instinct for reciprocity by “conceding” and taking a less extreme position.
Commitment and consistency
One of the joys of new parenthood is rediscovering the many children’s books you grew up on. As such, Dr. Seuss’s rhymes have been echoing throughout our home lately. In particular, I enjoy reading Horton Hatches the Egg to my daughter, a tale of a loyal elephant who, asked to watch briefly over a bird’s egg, resolutely cares for it through many travails until it finally hatches. He repeatedly tells the reader “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful, one hundred percent!” Horton is contrasted against the fickle biological mother of the egg, who hoodwinks Horton into his responsibility and absconds to Palm Beach indefinitely.
The moral of the book is clear: be like Horton and stay true to your word. As Cialdini points out, however, this noble trait can be exploited by others. People or organizations who want to influence others can encourage their targets to make an initial commitment—and then hold them to it! These commitments are most effective when they are active, public, effortful and voluntary. Consider weddings for a moment: across cultures, they consistently encompass at least the first three conditions, and hopefully all four. Perhaps the tradition has evolved to its current state so as to maximize its protagonists’ commitment to each other.
Liking
Put briefly, we say “yes” to people we like. In turn, we like people who are physically attractive, similar, and familiar to us. Why are celebrity endorsements so effective, especially when the celebrity has no obvious expertise regarding the product at hand? Consider George Clooney and Nespresso, Lionel Messi and Mastercard, Jennifer Garner and Capital One. Each (quite good-looking) star is recognized and adored by millions. They have capitalized on their public image, effectively renting out their goodwill to global brands seeking a benefit from association.
Authority
Possessing authority increases the ability one has to influence. Authority itself can be signaled through titles and clothing. Consider the symbolism of the white coat ceremony for medical students, or the expression from the military “to earn one’s stripes.” Or more comically, observe how the surreal comedian Eric Andre commands the scene on the streets of New York when dressed in a police officer’s uniform.
You’ve likely heard of Stanley Milgram’s infamous obedience experiment: a scientist in a lab coat commands a test subject to give increasingly painful electric shocks to a seemingly unsuspecting and increasingly unwilling participant (in reality, a confederate of the experiment). However, Cialdini describes a fascinating variation on the experiment. This time, the scientist commands the test subject to stop administering electric shocks, whereas the confederate stoically demands that they must continue. In other words, the same experiment as the original, but only the scientist and confederate’s requests are switched. Stunningly, the test subject halted the shocks immediately 100% of the time. Clearly, the scientist wields outside influence on the test subject through his authority in the context of the experiment.
Scarcity
Nightclubs keep a line of patrons waiting outside to make them seem more desirable. Airbnb tells you a property is a “rare find,” encouraging you to act now before it’s gone. Advertisements offering me an American Eagle Silver Dollar appear in my mailbox, but supply is limited and going fast!
What’s going on here? People ascribe more value to things that are unavailable or in limited supply. In fact, Cialdini points out that scarcity is heightened when we need to compete with others. I confess to feeling a rush of adrenaline when an online retailer tells me my purchase is already sitting in 5 other customers’ carts, so I must act now!
Early in my career, I interviewed with a company for an internship. I received a verbal offer, but because the company was small and my internship was atypical, it took weeks to present me with a formal offer letter. Upon receipt, the company let me know I had 48 hours to make a decision. The deadline was intentional and completely artificial—they would have presented me a formal offer much earlier if time was truly scarce, and I was the only candidate for the role, since I had pitched it to them in the first place! (Fortunately, although I had yet to read Influence, I recognized their shenanigan and asked for more time, which was begrudgingly granted. I did not want to make a decision under duress.)
Wrap up
The ability to influence, like any other tool, can be used for good or ill. There are examples of charlatans or unscrupulous people finding ways to influence others through the means listed above: a telemarketer inducing commitment through an innocuous question that leads to an unnecessary purchase; a doctor abusing their authority to abuse patients and prevent them from speaking out; a politician spending more time with their coiffeur than their constituents.
Still, knowing these tools is critical for two reasons. For one, being aware makes us less susceptible to falling for them. For another, we too can leverage these methods for good. In friendships, family relationships, everyday interactions with strangers, and even business, zero-sum games are actually quite rare. Knowing how to influence others effectively can be helpful for bringing others along to achieve common goals.
The message “OVER 5 MILLION COPIES SOLD” is emblazoned on the cover. I wonder if the publisher is aware of the meta-reference?